We now have two children - our first one is 4 years old and the second one is 18 months old. I quit my job when the second one was born and I have been home. However, the two children take up most of my time (my older one goes to preschool) and I lag behind with the house work. For example, when I put the clothes for wash and then into the dryer, I don't have the time to fold them immediately. Sometimes it takes hours and on some occasions, the clothes lie in the basket for a day or two. Or three.
My husband has a job that takes him out of the city for half the week (he started this job two years ago).
Here is where our problem begins again: Each time he comes back, I am under great pressure, because ALL that he can see is the messy house. The room where he sleeps is his safe haven - I don't mess up that place. But the kitchen the living room, the drawing room - this is where the kids play and it is not always clear or clean. The bathroom has things on the counter (another bottle of lotion, for instance, my daughter's hairbands) and that irritates him. I don't clean my toothbrush head as well as he does and that irritates him. When I used the microwave a few minutes before he did, some oatmeal splattered - I cleaned it but not well, so there were a couple of spots left and this irritated him.
You get the idea - every little bit in the house catches his eye and irritates the heck out of him.
I feel sad and angry that he is not able to look past these things now that we have two children in the house! Our toddler is a naughty one and at this stage, I can't leave her even for a minute. In the evenings, I fall asleep along with the kids and do not get much time for myself at all. In the mornings, on some days, I do get time, but that is just enough to load the dishwasher, unload it, and clear the kitchen a bit. The truth is that I am always lagging behind with housework and....this is not on purpose! Why can't he understand it? And yes , I am not as fast as he is, SO??
I have begun to HATE it when he is back home, since he is annoyed all the time and keeps going "Tch tch tch" and often gets furious.
From his point of view, he gets back tired and even the slightest clutter irritates him, but what about me? At least he comes back home to rest - what about me? When do I get some rest?!! Can't he see that??
Today he left for work again and I found myself wishing that he'd stay there for a week or two, so that I could have some peace! This is not a good direction for the marriage.
Any suggestions/thoughts/ideas to make the situation better would be appreciated. Thanks!